Now that we are out of the Christmas season, we can look at a film that has a vulgar view toward the holiday. A true slasher film with a behemoth kill count, and a babe final girl who only wants to drink alcohol, engage in steamy and deviant pre-marital sex, and smoke weed. Because she is quite the babe, we are inclined to pull for her. This will be one of the bloodiest films you ever see and even if our final girl survives, she will be...well, you'll see. With a plot closer to "Terminator" than "A Christmas Carol," 2022's "Christmas Bloody Christmas," directed by Joe Begos, is our feature today.
The sultry, often high and inebriated Tori (Riley Dandy) owns a punk record store. Her employee, Robbie (Sam Delich) is in the friend zone until alcohol is a factor...then he is her deviant sex partner. It is Christmas Eve and across the street is a toy store with a robot-Santa made with military grade technology that malfunctions. Tori's bestie, Lahna (Dora Madison) and her husband Jay (Jonah Ray) are axed to death while they engage in sex after store hours. Now the robot Santa (Abraham Benrubi) is on the loose in the town with an axe. He'll follow Tori and Robbie to her neighborhood. While Robbie engages in deviance on Tori, Santa axes his way into a neighboring house and axes a mom, dad, and little boy. Next, Santa comes to Tori's home, butchers her sister (Kansas Bowling) and her beaux and sets his robotic laser eyes on Tori and Robby.
Tori and Robby are now on the run but Santa is relentless. Cops are called and massacred by the axe wielding robot as are paramedics. Tori makes it back to town and is arrested by the sheriff (Jeff Daniel Phillips). The arrest is short-lived as Santa arrives back to town in an ambulance and wreaks more havoc. The thing is a killing machine and destroys the town so fast there is not time to call for help. Tori runs and hides, grabs a shotgun, and runs and hides some more as Santa has put her on his naughty list, probably justifiably so. All-out war ensues and Santa seems indestructible. He is impervious to bullets and fire. As the streets of the town are littered with body parts, blood, and snow, Tori continues her quest for survival.
Will the nymphomaniac, high, and drunk Tori prevail against this Santa that was created by the defense department? Is this film a thinly veiled metaphor of what our Department of Defense and their buddies in the Military Industrial Complex actually want to do to us? Is pre-marital sex on Christmas Eve a sure recipe for dismemberment? This is one of the bloodiest holiday movies you will ever see and because our final girl is so attractive, we do pull for her even though her favorite word is f***. For a bloody, horrific, and poignant film for our times (with a lot of very gory kills), see "Christmas Bloody Christmas."
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