How many of you had awkward Thanksgiving gatherings? That weird relative, who you swear is a pedophile was seated next to you at the dinner table. Or that drooling nerd who has never kissed a girl in his 22 years on the planet is asking you all about your revealing cheerleading costume. Or perhaps your mom and dad asks everyone if they want to see your Christening photographs. We've all had awkward moments during Thanksgiving dinners in our past, but in today's feature, an awkward Thanksgiving turns into cannibalistic horror...perhaps a metaphor for so much. Let us take a look at 2025's "The Priest: Thanksgiving Massacre," directed by Steve Lawson.
400 years ago the Reverend (not priest) Fuller (Mark Topping) is banished from the settlement of the Pilgrims and forced to build his cabin in the wilderness. Winter comes and he and his big breasted wife are dying of cold and starvation. Driven mad, Fuller grabs a sickle and axe and cuts his wife to pieces and eats her. Then he takes his pistol and blows his brains out. 400 years later the weird Tom (Jo Krayer) comes to the cabin to spend Thanksgiving with his new slut-girlfriend, English-babe Sara (Dani Thompson). Sara has big...er, a big smile and she and Tom have sex a lot. Sara only has packed lingerie and negligees. Also arriving at the cabin is Tom's teen-aged nerd son Noah (Brooklyn Ross), and teenage daughter Andi (Holly Higbee). Uh oh, Cyndy (Liz Soutar) is Tom's ex-wife and she is forced to stay for Thanksgiving after dropping the kids off because her car is dead. Cyndy and Sara sneer a lot at one another.
Awkward? Yes! Sara only wants sex with Tom and has no love for his kids or the ex. The ex reminds Sara that Tom has no money. Then we find out this modern cabin was built on the site of Reverend Fuller's cabin. Yep, as Sara is seducing Noah in the sauna, Fuller is mysteriously resurrected. The fiend immediately finds his old sickle and axe and is hungry again. The horrific reverend intends to chop everyone up into little pieces and eat them. Guess who he chops up first! The answer might surprise you. What follows is a heartbreaking horror story in which the victims are not necessarily the ones you figured would be victims. Even though Fuller is back and is hungry, both Sara and Cyndy probably have more to fear from each other than the ghoul who now hunts them.
Is there a catfight brewing between Sara and Cyndy...or even Sara and Andi? Will Sara de-virginize Noah in the sauna? Is there any happy ending for Tom now that his new lover and ex-wife are in close quarters with him? This is a gory one and as far as slasher films go, there is some nice axe and sickle gore to accompany the cannibalism. For a nice holiday horror film watch, see "The Priest: Thanksgiving Massacre."
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