Blood and Snow, The Thing in Northern Ontario

Okay, let me clear up any questions that may arise after you view the first five minutes of this film. It isn't in English. The first five minutes is in French. No subtitles. Don't turn it off.  Let me translate for you now. Here is the English translation of the French dialogue. "AH!"  "NO!"  "RUN AWAY!"  "WE'RE DOOMED!" "ALL IS LOST!"  "DON'T RIP MY HEAD OFF!" After this, all is in English. What we have here is inspired by 1982's "The Thing." Our feature today is 2023's "Blood and Snow," directed by Jesse Palangio. By the way, the head did get torn off.

A base in northern Canada supports a rig that is supposedly drilling for oil. Yeah, right!  Marie (Anne-Carolyne Binette) is a sweetie who only speaks, and screams, in French. Something comes up out of the hole they are drilling into and takes her dad's head off. Or so it appears.  She is dragged away by whatever the fiend was. Enter Luke (Simon Phillips) and Seb (Michael Swatton). The two guys from base were sent to bring Marie and her dad back to base before a storm sets in. They find half of dad and Marie, who is in shock. They bring her back to the base and into sick bay...mistake.  It's not Marie. The professor (Vernon Wells) treats Marie and notices things about her that can't be right.  They aren't. Eventually she'll wake, talking perfect English, and seeking knowledge on the internet about the human brain.

Marie also has superhuman strength and starts assaulting, and murdering members of the base.  The peeps are stuck with her as the nearest rescue team is 24 hours away. Uh oh!  She wants the rescue team.  See, she wants to "spread."  Yep, the professor figures out that Marie has a parasite in her from outer space.  If she reaches general population, the entire planet will be infected in 27,000 hours. Seb, who always had a thing for Marie (probably because they don't speak the same language...funny how that makes the opposite sex more appealing) wants to try to get the real Marie to fight off the parasite. Good luck!

Is incinerating a whiny babe scientist, who only speaks French, something we can all get behind?  If the alien parasite does reach general population, and takes over, how will we notice? Is the lack of flamethrowers in this film a severe enough plot deviance from the 1982 film something we can get past? Oh!  Fear not...there is an Alaskan Husky in this movie. For a toned down, but still creepy, version of John Carpenter's 1982 classic, see "Blood and Snow."