Saturday, May 4, 2019

Amityville Exorcism, HGTV Does Possession

Seeing that 2017's "Amityville Exorcism" was a Polonia Brothers film starring my buddy Jeff Kirkendall...well, it moved to the top of my "To See" list. What unfolded before my eager eyes was true poetry. Picture "The Exorcism" with a heavy dose of "The Amityville Horror" and a healthy smattering of HGTV's "Fixer Upper." That's what we have today. I know many of you wonder what would happen if Joanna Gaines succumbed to Satanic possession...well...here it is.
Okay, Father Jones (Steve Diasparra) successfully exorcises the dreaded Amityville house. Actually, "successfully" is a relative term...you'll see. Bad news, an industrious carpenter salvages some lumber from the cursed house and uses it to put in new floors at Jeremy Dukane's (James Carolus) home. Oh yes...that carpenter will be executed for hammering his family to death. Father Benna (Kirkendall) takes this schmuck's confession and now knows the lumber has carried the evil to the Dukane household.
Ahhhh...Amy Dukane (Marie DeLorenzo)...very pretty...will grow increasingly ugly as a red demon possesses her. This demon killed Benna's brother and seeks to kill him as well. As the cursed spare lumber, and Amy turn homicidal, Benna introduces himself to Jeremy. The barely sober Jeremy seeks to save his daughter and rid his home of demons. As the red demon gets bolder and more homicidal, Benna and Jeremy form an awkward alliance armed with holy water, a crucifix, and a level of faith which better increase if they plan to defeat the demons. As Amy's spooky dolls become spookier and attack, the nubile daughter grows increasingly hideous and disgusting.
Can Father Benna avenge the death of his brother and save Amy from an eternity of satanic torment? Will the satanic lumber and spooky dolls team up to create a show for HGTV? Will the possession of Joanna Gaines (...not that I'm saying she is possessed...but if she was...) result in back-splash adorned with pentagrams and a rotting flesh Yankee candle in an upcoming show?  The Polonia Brothers and Jeff Kirkendall have given us another winner, so do yourself a favor and pull up this C movie and enjoy.

3 comments:

  1. Very enjoyable movie excellent review as always

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  2. another great movie reviewed, thank god for farther brenna, shame he wasn't into kiny sex, with cindy and nova...

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  3. Sounds like wicked fun I would like Christopher! This one is a new title to me but easy to remember using two well known horror names!

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