Mandrake, Icky Jungle Creature

The sultry actress, Jon Mack, is no stranger to icky creatures.  Just read this blog. Giant worms! Giant spiders! Fire breathing tarantulas! Monster trees with probing tentacle-roots! When I began this blog in 2013, the work of this fine actress/musician was instrumental in providing material for it.  "Mongolian Death Worm" is still one of my favorite reviews...and films.  "Lavalantula" is one of the most fun films on this blog. "Camel Spiders" is still one of the ickiest. Today we look at what may be the magnum opus for Ms. Mack...queen of the icky creatures...2010's "Mandrake," directed by Tripp Reed.  This jungle horror film shelves insects in favor of a vicious plant with probing roots. 

Spanish billionaire Vargas (Benito Martinez) hires a team headed by hunk McCall (Max Martini) and has them dropped in a South American jungle to find and retrieve an ancient sacred dagger. The dagger is guarded by a fierce tribe called the Umbali. Also on the team is babe anthropologist Felicia (Betsy Russell). Like marine biologists in these movies, anthropologists all are sultry.  On the ground, Vargas' basecamp is run by the babe Carla (Jon Mack). She's quite the dish too, but she actually looks like she knows what's going on. Poor Carla, she'll eventually get hauled off by the Umbali and subject to a monstrous and humiliating fate. Uh oh...something is in the jungle that does not want to give up the dagger.  We see a monster tree with tree roots used as deadly tentacles ready to rip apart any invader.

McCall's team is ripped apart one by one. Then the Umbali raid the basecamp and murder everyone except Carla...she's too sultry just to murder on the spot. Now Vargas and his team land and are also under siege from the tree thing. We remember the tree in "The Evil Dead" and wonder if Carla and Felicia will succumb to those roots the same way Ash's GF did. Now everyone is sweating and grunting as they try to find the dagger and avoid the creature and the Umbali.  Poor Carla...she sees what the Umbali want to do with her and makes a stab at escaping.  McCall grunts a lot...and Felicia sweats nicely.  As the invaders dwindle in number, we see why the Umbali do not want the dagger stolen.  The gals are sultry and lively and the men are hunks in this jungle horror epic.

Will Carla's fate be one of bloody humiliation at the hands of the Umbali and tree tentacles?  Will McCall succeed in finding the dagger?  Will Felicia, our babe anthropologist, find true love on this mission that is not wooden or has tentacles?  This is a fantastic creature film with sweaty babes and hunks that grunt.  For a great time on a Friday night horror movie watch party, see "Mandrake."

Blood Lust, Sultry Blonde Vampire

You need blood drawn? Go to a phlebotomist. Kind of like a vampire...they draw your blood.  Okay, so let us say the phlebotomist is a vampire...with fangs!  Now let's say she is a sultry blonde. I admit, the appeal of this idea does not match the idea for "Underworld" or "BloodRayne."  Still, we do have a pretty blonde with fangs, a vicious serial killer who also likes to drink blood, and a pathetic down on his luck detective.  Our feature today is 2023's "Blood Lust" (aka "Blood Thirst"), directed by Christopher McCleod.

Back in 1969, a sultry blonde hitchhiker, Vanessa (Lindsey Mitchell) is picked up by a sultry vampire, Layla (Dorothy Hadley Joly). Layla attacks and turns Vanessa into a vampire. Layla kills because she likes it.  Vanessa does not like killing humans and flees.  Present day, Vanessa is a phlebotomist and pays homeless peeps for their blood.  A win-win for all involved. Uh oh...Bento (Sky Crystal) is a serial killer who runs a comic book shop. He lures his victims into the back, knocks them out, and drinks their blood.  He's not a vampire but wants to be one.  His victims body parts start showing up in ditches and in the woods and now Detective Walker (Tim Michael Schmidt) is on the case.  Will coincidences never cease? Walker and Vanessa are neighbors.

Vanessa drinks blood she pays for, largely.  Of course when someone tries to rape her or mug her, she drinks their blood, too.  By accident, Bento finds out about Vanessa and wants her.  Vanessa meets Walker and kind of likes him...though if you ask me, she is out of his league. Bento sets his sights on Vanessa.  He even crafts a wooden stake and buys a hatchet.  Walker finds clues that will get him closer to Bento. Where is this all headed?  You'll see.

Just how does Bento plan on forcing Vanessa to turn him into a bloodsucker?  Will Vanessa help Walker solve the case or does she intend to dispose of Bento in dumpsters?  Does Bento have what it takes to defeat a babe vampire?  Stylish and grim, "Blood Lust" is a nice vampire film...with a babe vampire.

Brain Twisters, Video Games and Rage

Do video games alter the behavior of our youngsters?  The popular answer, an incorrect one, though, is yes they do. They fill the children with sexual deviance and rage.  Kids will have sex and brutalize one another the more they play these games.  Their minds are taken over and hyper-suggestion moves in and brings them to a more primitive, maybe carnal, mode of operation. However false this is, in 1991 this was a widely held belief.  Hence we look at 1991's "Brain Twisters," directed by Jerry Sangiuliano.

Dangerous experiments by a mad scientist! Yep, Dr. Phillip Rothman (Terry Londeree) is a brain doctor at a university.  This is convenient because he can hire babe coeds and hunk frat boys as his test subjects. Uh oh...murders and suicides start spiraling out of control on campus. As our film begins, a sultry jogger (Laurie Ann Hickey) is mowed down by another college kid. Rothman is a professor at the university and is also hired by a video game company to make video games addictive to youngsters so they will keep buying and playing them.  He tests images and colors on the college kids and turns them into homicidal beings.  The homicide aspect of all this is an unintended consequence...or is it? Laurie (Farrah Forke) is sad because she has known many of the babes who have been slaughtered by their boyfriends of late.  The boys...well, they commit suicide shortly after the murders.

Enter the hunk detective, Frank (Joe Lombardo). He suspects the mad scientist and has found out that Laurie is his new work-study student. Unintentionally, maybe, Rothman turns coeds and hunks into monsters.  In one case, Michelle (Donna Bostany) actually turns into a monster. Rothman is well connected to a super secret video game company that might be funded by the Department of Defense. As Frank falls in love with the nubile Laurie, so does Rothman.  Now Rothman, going more and more insane, is obsessed with Laurie and does not like it that she is falling in love with the cop. Yep, Laurie is in danger.  Uh oh...the weird corporation is ready to release new games upon the youth of America.

Just how ethical is it for a police detective to fall in love with a witness to one of his investigations, who is half his age?  As nubile babes are turned into homicidal monsters, is this a metaphor to what happens to coeds on college campuses today?  Is there a tag team match brewing between Rothman and Michelle in one corner and Frank and Laurie in the other?  This is a terrific techno-thriller from the early 90s with a nice cheese and beef factor.  See "Brain Twisters," and see the hunks and babes fall.    

10 Year Reunion, Caddiness and Catfights

Wow!  The catfight at the end of this film will forever be scorched on your brain. But let's discuss the star of our film, Kacey Clarke (many of you may know her as Kacey Barnfield). She is one of the sultriest actresses of the past 50 years, and an actress you may not know of. I'll remind you.  She was the bikini clad teen in "Lake Placid 3" who was chased through a supermarket by a giant croc.  She was that babe in the British TV show "Downton Abbey." She was eaten and spit out by mutants in "Resident Evil: Afterlife." Who can forget her as the swimsuit clad trophy wife of Iggy Pop in "Blood Orange"? Then there's today's catfight heavy film, 2016's "10 Year Reunion," directed by Jake Helgren.

Five giggly and sultry teens about to graduate from high  school and leave the town of Harmony.  They even give each other cuddle-hugs....gag! They love one another and will be friends forever...or do they? Abby (Abigail Klein) devises a time capsule and each will write a secret confession to be opened in 10 years. Hours after the box is buried, Abby dies mysteriously. 10 years later the four sultry friends return to Harmony. Carly (Clarke) is the only one of them that did not know a coroner's report suggests Abby was murdered. Patty (Kayla Ewell) is now a babe lawyer. Erica (Anya Engel) is a congressman's wife. They are hosted by Rose (Jillian Nelson).  The reunion starts out sweet...then five minutes go by. Carly, finding out that Abby was poisoned 10 years ago is determined to find her killer.  Her three mates...they would prefer Carly not uncover the truth.

Secrets are revealed, but not the big one.  The revealed secrets suggest that all the friends had reason to murder Abby...even Carly. Enter a masked figure who is determined not to let the time capsule be found.  He, or she is so determined to keep the confessions in the time capsule secret that the gals begin meeting with gory demises.  One by one secrets are revealed.  Bloody secrets.  Carly puts herself in mortal danger by refusing to give up her quest for the truth.  Then...eventually...the catfight!  You won't believe such a masterful piece of cinema could have been choreographed, but anything with Miss Clarke in it will be such a beautiful thing.

The actresses in this film are sultry and play to the camera so well.  Like a good Giallo film, being beautiful may be their death knells. Is there a confession buried in the capsule that will reveal the killer? Will Carly be disfigured by hedge clippers or bloody shovels? You'll see.  Will Abby have anything to say about this from the grave?  For a movie that will throw sultry babes in mortal danger at you in mass, see "10 Year Reunion."

Secret Life of a Dominatrix, and the Accompanying Serial Killer

Secrets never stay secret. In a society that claims no interest in what someone does in his/her own bedroom, it is very transfixed on what he/she do in their own bedroom. Add whips, chains, bondage, gags, humiliation, and cross words and we absolutely care what someone does in their own bedroom.  Serial killers care...bless them. Hence our film today, 2024's Made for Tubi original, "Secret Life of a Dominatrix," directed by Gabby Revilla Lugo.

Book clubs. A bunch of bored women getting together to talk Jane Austen. After 10 minutes, they ain't talking Jane Austen...nope!  Bondage, and whipping has replaced the classics in this book club. May (Mariel Molina) is a sultry housewife who has secrets.  She has a hunk husband, Kurt (Andrew Biernat) who insists on occasional sex utilizing the missionary position exclusively. May, after all the BDSM talk wants more.  Her bestie, Gia (Kiley Casciano) and other mates convince her to go to an exclusive sex club where anything goes and you can be anyone you want. These places exist all over the place in the movies, where I live we have smoke shops and urgent care facilities. There, May meets dominatrix Anna (Ashley Dougherty). They take likings to one another and Anna teaches May to be a dominatrix...and she is not only loving it, but good at it.

Okay...here's where it gets dicey. A serial killer is stalking these sex clubs.  Soon, one of May's buddies is strangled in the parking lot of the club.  Even worse it is her new BDSM buddy Dee (Imani Vaughn-Jones). Even worse...May sees, from the other side of the club, her husband come into the club. As a dominatrix, May understands he has needs.  She goes home with a leather outfit, whips, handcuffs, chains, bondage ropes, and attitude.  Sadly, Kurt is not interested in her, still. More gals are murdered and May is now down a path that she can't come back from. Twists will occur which you will see a mile away, but because BDSM, whips, chains, handcuffs, and bondage ropes are included in this movie, we can forgive its predictability.

Will May use a stun-gun and force Kurt into being tied up and whipped?  Just who is this serial killer, and is it a male?  Will we possibly see a wild catfight between two kinky dominatrix'?  If you have not seen BDSM since that Charisma Carpenter film ("Bound"), see "Secret Life of a Dominatrix." 

Dark Nature, Needy Women and Their Demons

Okay, I get it. Women overcoming abusive men...yawn! Right, I get it...women trying to make it in a man's world and facing nothing but misogyny.  Yawn! Abused...yawn!  Okay, I admit I was cheering for the creature in this one.  You divorced men out there are going to look at this film a whole lot differently than the movie maker, Berkley Brady, intended.  Our film today is 2022's "Dark Nature."

Yep, Joy (Hannah Emily Anderson) is in a abusive relationship with a brute who hits her and kills her dog. The dog may have had it coming, that yappy beast. Six months after leaving the brute, Joy joins up with her best buddy Carmen (Madison Walsh). Yep!  They are going hiking through the wilderness. Go wilderness! Along is the whole traumatized-femme support group.  We won't like any of them. Carmen may have a thing for Joy. Tara (Helen Belay) went through something so awful, with a guy I bet, that no one can speak of it. Shaina (Roseanne Supernault) has PTSD from her tour in Afghanistan...go Taliban!  The encounter group therapist is the unimpressive Dr. Dunnley (Kyra Harper). They bicker. Dr Dunnley offers worthless counseling.  They hike.

A creature (Luke Moore) awaits.  The thing will attack and maim.  Joy sees her old boyfriend in the creature.  Dr. Dunnley will be shredded and eaten...yay!  Shaina will prove how worthless General Miley's troops were in Afghanistan.  Now Joy must act the hero but bravery is something not in her chemical make-up.  Carmen is the strong one but she gets taken by the cave dweller.  With Carmen and Tara still screaming for help, Joy does get brave and goes after them.

Will Joy grow some cajones and embark on a successful rescue mission? If Dr. Dunnley were not in 15 pieces, would Joy have still undertaken her rescue mission?  would a good man in the script made it a fair fight against the cave dwelling terror? Annoying but still a worthwhile watch.  If this film tells us anything it is that the Dr. Dunnleys' of the world need to be fed to cryptids.  See "Dark Nature," 'cause even cave cryptids deserve love.