Graphic Desires, AI, the Sex Trade, and Murder

AI...let's cut to the chase.  Its biggest impact will be in the sex trade. Porn. Prostitution. Self-gratification. Legalized deviancy including BDSM, torture, and bondage.  Yeah, right...go ahead and tell yourself that AI will help cure cancer, create geniuses out of school kids, help hospitals prescribe the right drugs, and make the paralyzed walk again...sure. Go ahead and tell yourself that.  The perverts and deviants of the world will reap the biggest rewards...if they can survive this AI. Our feature today is 2022's "Graphic Desires," directed by Andy Edwards. 

Okay, so here it is...but do not pay to much attention to my plot description. Franklin (David Wayman), works from home on computer stuff. His live-in GF Candida (Sian Altman) is a babe nymphomaniac with some really sexy undies. She wants to have a lot of pre-marital sex with him, but he is not interested. Instead, he gets addicted to online porn and chatrooms.  He also is lured to get an app on his phone, Smasher. His bestie, Brendan (Ocean Harris) does the app and gets instant hook-ups. When Candida is away on business, Brendan meets the raging pervert Atlanta (May Kelly) on the app. They hook-up and she is all deviance all the time. Then poof!  Atlanta is gone. Off the app and seemingly out of Franklin's life.  Franklin is now addicted to Atlanta's deviance and will stop at nothing to find her.  He has Brendan, who is a hacker, try to find Atlanta using computers, as Brendan knows how to design apps.

Uh oh...Brendan finds something out about Atlanta.  Worse yet, Candida finds out Franklin had gone out and met Atlanta. Now Candida wants to find Atlanta and pull her false eyelashes off and shove them up the slut's nose. Okay, stop. Think you got it? You don't. Then everything changes.  No one is who you thought they were...except Franklin...he's all pervert. What Brendan finds out about Atlanta is horrific and he understands his buddy Franklin will not be able to handle the truth.  Worse yet, Candida is determined to find Atlanta before Franklin does.  You think you got the twist...you think Atlanta is not real. Ha!  Nope, you still don't get it.  Kinkiness, deviance, bondage, whipping, torture, and humiliation await...and it won't be made up.

Who is Atlanta and where did she disappear to? Why is it so important for Candida to find Atlanta before Franklin does? What exactly did Brendan find out about Atlanta's whereabouts and identity? Instead of getting the Smasher app on your phone, plough into a kinky and deviant techno-thriller, and see "Graphic Desires."

Heatstroke, Monster Lizards and the Sweetheart

The sweetheart? Danica McKellar!  She just turned 50 a couple of months ago.  We first set eyes on her in that 1988 TV show "The Wonder Years."  In that show we watched her blossom into a really nice looking teenager.  Danica McKellar as a super model?  Okay, maybe miscast...but maybe not.  Throw in some monster lizards, army men, another babe or several, and we have a nice Syfy movie with D.B. Sweeney as the leading man.  Our feature today is 2008's "Heatstroke," directed by Andrew Prowse.

Okay...he's looney...maybe. Cpt. Steve O'Bannon (Sweeney) of the US Army is part of a special unit that is folding because of lack of results. Then, Steve gets results. See, Steve is plagued by nightmares of dinosaur creatures sneering at him through his TV set. Ever since childhood, he has had these dreams. Then while hang gliding he is attacked by a lizard creature and sent spiraling into a photo shoot filled with bikini clad supermodels. Ruining the shoot, supermodel Caroline (McKellar) is irate and yells at him.  Not apologetic, Steve goes back to his unit with Caroline chasing him and yelling the entire way.  His unit? There is Romeo (Zac Heileson), a real hunk.  There is Jillian (Kelly Rice) a babe blonde with a great tan and who perspires nicely.  She and Romeo swap a lot of spit and make many goo-goo eyes at one another.

Okay, the monster lizards attack.  Caroline tries to put her photo shoot back on again, Being escorted by one of Steve's men, the other supermodels are shredded and pulled apart by the monsters.  Now Caroline sort of likes Steve.  Finally...contact.  Steve's unit has finally confirmed the aliens, and the aliens seem to be aggressive.  They murder, make the bugs on the island bigger, and even co-opt one of Steve's men...which will be horrific for Jillian.  Caroline and one of Steve's men known as Mental (Wayne Pygram) make bullets and explosives as Steve's unit dissipates at the hands of the monsters.  Poor Jillian, you won't like what happens to her, but Caroline is the main babe in this film and sometimes there is not enough room for two babes, dammit!

Will the monster lizards allow a romance between Caroline and Steve?  What is the connection between Steve's nightmares and the monster invasion?  Will the monster lizards do the unthinkable to the pretty, blonde, and tanned Jillian?  This is a good one with a nice cheese factor.  For some nice and cheesy scifi/horror with great creatures, see "Heatstroke."  

The Perfect Cheerleader, Cheerleaders in Trouble

Cheerleaders! Their big...smiles!  Their bare midriffs!  High leg kicks (and what legs)! They're perky and always in great moods.  The team may stink...but the cheerleaders are always happy and seemingly so willing to throw their allure and sex appeal at any situation.  But wait!  In this overly sexualized world, they are also in peril. In peril from woke feminists or from men who assume they can have their way with them, any time. The nubile babes with the smiles and tight costumes may be in for humiliation or worse.  Hence our feature today, 2019's "The Perfect Cheerleader" (aka "The Cheerleader Escort"), directed by Alexandrie Carriare.

Cassie (Alexandra Beaton) is a sultry freshman coed at Tate Riley University. Right away, an upper-class coed, Gabby (Joelle Farrow) convinces her to try out for the cheer/dance team. Hesitantly, Cassie agrees and makes the squad. She fits right in.  Cheerleader coach, Stephanie (Carolyne Maraghi) is happy to have her and so are the other girls. Uh oh...poor Cassie...she will realize reality way too late. The cheer squad is an escort service, shall we say.  More accurately, the squad is an expensive hooker ring. Wealthy alumni pay top dollar to have sex with the girls.  Stupid Cassie, she believes 45 year-old Terry ( Damon Runyon) is actually interested in her for her mind and personality. Yep, Cassie will be seduced by the almost middle-aged creep.

Gabby is thrilled...another hooker in the brothel, or escort in Stephanie's high-priced agency. Gabby lured her in but now she herself is in great danger.  Cassie believes Gabby is her friend but when horror and viciousness fell the nubile Gabby, Cassie begins asking questions.  The types of questions that can get a girl maimed and ripped apart.  The clients are all powerful men who do not take no for an answer...and Stephanie makes sure if a girl pulls back, that girl will be "taken care of."  Now Cassie is finding out too much.  Even worse...the nubile Cassie has a plan...a bad plan...the type of plan that can get a girl killed.

Will Cassie's plan actually work, and what is that plan?  Should Cassie shut up and earn her own tuition money rather than burdening the American tax payers to pay for the full tuition of another veterinarian? Are there cheerleader catfights brewing?  This is a light and playful drama that turns dark and horrific for our nubile babes (there's that word again) quickly.  See "The Perfect Cheerleader" and enjoy the drama, gratuitous cheerleader routines, and babes in dark danger...and one of the best cheese factors in motion picture history! 

Shark Girl, When Women Turn into Maneaters

Okay...I get it. A metaphor.  I can hear you men, especially you recently divorced or dumped men, now. They always look good.  They always purr.  They always know just how to touch you.  Then!  Yep, then! After you commit to them...wham!  They change.  The lovely fish becomes a maneater.  Intent on ruining your manhood, a woman always changes. Well, simmer down.  You chose her. Our feature today is a metaphor for the sultry dame who in reality, is something else.  Let us look at 2024's "Shark Girl," directed by Justin Shilton and Rob Zazzali.

A mediocre, but very hot, influencer, Heidi (Alexandra Corin Johnston) prances around Venice Beach in alluring swimwear or exercise gear.  She's hot.  Her boy toy Ron (Ryan Bertroche) is her hunk camera guy. He's mean and not very sensitive. As a nuclear plant melts down a few feet from Venice Beach, and radioactive waste pours into the surf, Ron orders Heidi into the surf for that wet and wild look her followers long to see.  In the surf, a radioactive shark bites her...now Heidi turns into a sort of wereshark. Really.  Poor Ron. His disrespect for this influencer, who has only 60,000 followers, will no longer be tolerated,  She'll eat Ron after eating the hunk Kevin (Patrick Luwis) and the babe Ashley (Elle Chapman). In fact, this film will have a huge death count.

Bad timing, Christopher (Nick Tag), a hunk blogger arrives and kind of likes Heidi.  Christopher's blog is reporting on the shark attacks, though its not a shark, around Venice Beach.  He tries to get to know Heidi. Also arriving is Heidi's bestie, Sienna (Sumayyah Ameerah)...a marine biology student. Heidi will continue changing by growing rows of razor sharp teeth and eating peeps. She'll eat a fellow model, Gina (Delaney Hogan) as she gives us some gratuitous swimwear poses. Now Sienna and Christopher figure out Heidi is responsible for the shark attacks at Venice Beach and find a way to cure her.  Uh oh, because Heidi ate Sienna's brother, Sienna is more interested in revenge than helping Heidi. Uh oh again, Heidi is becoming deadlier and she needs a mate...hence Christopher better be careful. 

Will Heidi eat Christopher either metaphorically or literally? Is a hot blonde influencer in skimpy bikinis or tight workout gear worth the mood swings and an occasional nip?  Will Sienna find a harpoon and engage in a catfight to the death with the shark girl?  This is, what Variety has reported, the film Steven Spielberg wanted to make but Universal would not give him the budget, hence we got Jaws. For a nice shark film that captures the ethos of a woman, see "Shark Girl."  

The Vampire and the Vigilante, Michael Pare and a Babe Vampire

A hard one to defend? Not at all!  See, tonight the Oscars will heap a lot of praise and bling on a stupid woke so-called movie about a cartel boss who wants to undergo a sex change operation. Oh, it is a musical, in the style of "Cop Rock."  If that film is Oscar material, our vampire film starring Michael Pare is pure artistry.  Anyway, a non-woke film that dares to portray BLM and woke liberals as the idiots that they are.  I was surprised...but pleased at this. Our feature today is 2024's "The Vampire and the Vigilante," directed by Rene Perez.

She's sultry...a siren!  A real, honest to goodness seductress.  Tori (Samantha Kruse)! Wow! She has great big...well, a great big smile, let's say. Her job is to lure men into the dwelling of a hideous vampire she calls Master (Tony Jackson). She does this well. Enter bounty hunter/hired killer Gabriel (Pare). He has captured a pedophile who is also a serial killer (Dominic Collantes). Okay, also enter the pure and good babe Natalie (Emily Whitcomb).  Her roomie accuses her of being a racist and for owning slaves.  The roomie's BLM boyfriend steals Natalie's money and knocks her out.  When Natalie wakes up, the two have left for a Kamala Harris rally, and Tori is there to capture her.  See, The Master has tasked Tori to bring him a pure woman who he can eat as she takes her clothes off.  I know what you are thinking, but this is not a remake of 1993's "Shadowlands."

Now Natalie wakes, after being knocked out by Tori, in the Master's lair.  He has her start doing a striptease and bites her. Shocked, Natalie runs and escapes.  She flees and finally ends up in a warehouse where Gabriel is torturing the pedophile fiend. Surprised to see a vampire (which Natalie is, now), he shoots her.  Natalie dies and comes back to life. Gabriel and Natalie are fascinated by one another even as the killer escapes.  Natalie needs blood and Gabriel seems amenable to getting her some.  That's enough of the plot.  You may see where this is going. 

Just how does Gabriel plan on feeding the sultry but toothy Natalie?  Any chance of feeding the two Kamala Harris voters to Natalie...after all, they did assault her and take her money?  Any chance of a wild catfight between the now vampire Natalie and the siren Tori?  This is such an enjoyable one and if you have seen any of the films that will be heralded at the Academy Awards show...you deserve to see "The Vampire and the Vigilante." 

Silent Bite, Christmas Vampires

Vampires on Christmas!  Bank Robbers on Christmas! Here's a nice Christmas present...the vampires are babes! One of them is even named Selene (Sienna Star) and she wears leather!  Terrific homage to "Underworld." Okay, so nothing new here...sure.  Then again do we always want something new.  Change can be catastrophic, just reflect back to Barack Obama...eek!  Tropes and predictability will not ruin this witty and satisfying vampire tale.  Today we look at 2024's "Silent Bite," directed by Taylor Martin.

Four bank robbers, three dressed as Santa and one as an elf, get away with a million dollars. On the run, they hole up in a seemingly empty hotel and resort. Father Christmas (Simon Phillips) leads the band which also includes Grinch (Nick Biskupek), Snowman (Michael Swatton), and our elf, the nerdy Prancer (Luke Avoledo). Prancer is there for computer technology. Uh oh...in another part of the hotel is the blonde babe Genie (Camille Blott).  Selene has her tied up and bites her, changing her into a vampire. Mother (Sayla de Goede) is upset that Selene jumped the gun. Two other vamps are also there, Victoria (Kelly Schwartz) and Lucia (Louisa Capulet). All babes! Mother informs the other vamps that the bank robbers are fair game...feel free to have sex with, bite, and drain the blood of the bank robbers.

Mother is not worried...vampires cannot be killed.  We all know this is not true, but do these robbers have any idea how to kill them?  Wait, Prancer, finds Genie all tied up.  Genie tells him of the vampires and that she herself is turning into one.  She begs Prancer to kill her...then Lucia attacks.  Uh oh...seems there is a way to kill vamps and Prancer may be onto what that is.  Prancer and Genie fall in love.  Father Christmas plots to get his men to safety and far away from the hotel and the vamps. Mother sets her sights on total destruction of the humans.  The other vamps will frolic, flirt, and...you'll see.

Will Prancer kill Genie before she turns or will Genie kill Prancer?  Will mother be able to save her daughter vamps from the unpredictable bank robbers?  Are Rudolph ands Scrooge in this one, too?  Fun and quirky...with a nice cheese factor, see "Silent Bite."