Friday, March 26, 2021

Pickaxe, High School Hunks and Babes Die Horribly

Insaniacs get no respect.  Driven to madness by a prudish world, their creativity and keen sense of the presence of evil is something we could all learn from.  They get put away in psychiatric wards while nymphomaniac teenagers desiring to see the band Sacrilegious Desecration are told they are the future of society.  That is what today's film is about...and here is a treat...Tiffany Shepis is our insaniac …yes! 2014's "Pickaxe" is a slasher film that pays homage to the 1980s slasher era.  Gore, nudity, and pre-marital sex will rule the day, a metaphor for 2021 America.

After decapitating her boyfriend, the beautiful and nude Dana (Michelle Ellen Jones) does a bloody dance over Alex Black's burial plot.  Yep...this alluring satanic rite brings the pickaxe killing serial killer back from the dead.  He was killed by Adrienne (Shepis) and Sheriff Mathews (A. Michael Baldwin) six years ago after butchering a mess of horny campers.  Adrienne was sent to a mental asylum where she claims she saw the resurrected Alex butcher the staff.  Now Adrienne is back in town as a lunatic drunk...albeit a pretty lunatic drunk. She insists Alex is back but Mathews reassures her he died many years ago.  Then Alex starts picking off babes and hunks with either a pickaxe or bloody strangulation.

Okay, the idiot high schoolers, led by slut Jamie (Elizabeth Redpath), sneak away to a cabin for the weekend.  The teens want to see the aforementioned metal band perform.  Heather (Ashley Marie Zgabay) is fairly clean cut, but will show her b**bs if asked.  A lot of deviant pre-marital sex will occur.  Back in town, Alex and his pickaxe deal some nice carnage and now Mathews believes Adrienne.  Too late...Sacrilegious Desecration has begun their performance.  Deviant sex will take place at the performance and our teenagers are enjoying the show.  Alex arrives and one of the best massacre scenes put on film in the past 20 years occurs.  On the run our teens show their stupidity and run back to the cabin.  Adrienne and Mathews arrive and square off against Alex...and the real fun begins.

Will any of our teens survive the pickaxe of Alex Black?  Will lunatic Adrienne have what it takes to off Alex Black a second time?  Has Alex Black delivered mercy to America by ending the tour of Sacrilegious Desecration?  Gore and nudity will abound.  Ms. Shepis gives us a terrific lunatic.  Director Jeremy Sumrall knows what we want and delivers it in fine fashion.  All you 1980s slasher fans, see "Pickaxe."     

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