Wednesday, May 10, 2017

King Dinosaur, Bert I. Gordon Epic

1955's "King Dinosaur" isn't the first Bert I. Gordon flick on this blog.  As his initials state, this movie-maker likes his monsters big. Previously on this blog we looked at Empire of the Ants and Food of the Gods which extolled us of the dangers of fooling around with Mother Nature. Perhaps not as spectacular, as far as special effects go, "King Dinosaur" was Gordon's first big animal horror film. In a day where CGI and other computerized f/x bore the discriminating moviegoer, the works of Mr. Big himself are a refreshing treat.
Okay, get this...a mysterious planet enters our solar system and takes orbit near Earth.  Scientists determine the planet has a similar atmosphere as ours and send four scientists there in a rocket-ship. Guess what! The four scientists are all great looking...two babes and two hunks. They land and go to work immediately in this paradise.  Pat (Wanda Curtis) the chemist and Ralph (William Bryant) the doctor swap a lot of spit together and grope passionately.  Meanwhile, the grouchy zoologist Richard (Douglas Henderson) and geologist Nora (Patti Gallagher) do most of the work.
As Ralph and Pat continue feeling each other up, they let their guard down.  As a result, Ralph is nearly eaten by a crocodile and seriously wounded.  As Ralph recovers, our quartet fight off a giant ant, and big snake.  Meanwhile, as the two lovebirds continue making goo-goo eyes together, Nora and Richard make there way over to a nearby island.  Here...all hell breaks loose. This couple is soon beset by a Tyrannosaurus-Rex (okay, so it looks like an iguana, just go with it), and more so-called dinosaurs.  Our nymphomaniacs stop to breathe and see Richard's flare and rush over to help.  Their arrival is met by more Bert I. Gordon menaces including a gargantuan armadillo. I know, pretty horrific.
Will our amorous duo keep their hormones controlled long enough to rescue Nora and Richard? Will the ice-bucket Richard and nubile Nora take hints from their two colleagues and start a romance of their own?  Giant armadillos, big snakes, and huge lizards?  Does Mr. Gordon have a weird metaphor in mind? "King Dinosaur" is a lot of fun and an infinitely better film than "Rogue One."

4 comments:

  1. Oh, ffs, Christopher! This review had me laughing hard. The nymphos, make out island, this sounds like a really bad episode of Survivor. This movie would probably be highly entertaining. Good review!

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  2. I'm sold by the giant armadillo alone! :D Nice review as always defo gonna check this one out, cheers Christopher

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  3. The plot in this film was so over the top, it made the monsters believable. I enjoyed watching it, Great review!

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  4. ROFL! Great review! Spit out my coffee��������

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