Today, a modern retelling of The Wasp Woman . A bit more stylish, less campy, and a whole lot gorier, 1988's "Rejuvenatrix" is a bloody fable about the fear of aging. Hair growing out of our ears? Leaving our turn signal on 100 miles past our turn? Perhaps, for every year that ticks away, our proximity to death increases. Either way, when a brilliant scientist has a serum that will reverse the aging process, the results are all too predictable to horror film fans. Perhaps Nicole Kidman and Madonna will get the memo on this in the near future.
Ruth Warren (Jessica Dublin) is an actress 25 years past her prime. She hooks on to Dr. Ashton (John MacKay) who is inventing a serum to reverse the aging process....like this will actually go well. Though Ashton and his nubile assistant Stella (Katell Pleven) want to test the stuff on lab rats, Warren pressures Ashton to inject her. He does, and now Ruth regains her youthful looks and calls herself Elizabeth (Vivian Lanko). Uh oh, the looks don't last and Ashton is forced to make more and more serum. Here lies the problem, he needs brains to extract the necessary ingredients for the serum. At first he hires a ghoulish guy to bring him cadavers...from where? Don't ask.
Monday, March 27, 2017
No matter how uncomfortable and taboo this film is, the ending is classic. Yeah, it goes places where polite people don't like their films to go, but hey...if there is bloody carnage involved, we can forgive the film-makers. Nudity, gore, and child-murder through the eyes of an adolescent 12 year old boy. Today we look at 1981's "The Pit" directed by Lew Lehman.
Saturday, March 25, 2017
A dominatrix, a submissive, and BDSM! Gratuitous shower scenes! Gratuitous nudity! Gratuitous hot-tub scenes! Threesomes! Foursomes! Wild and gratuitous cat-fights! Mud wrestling! Okay, the acting is pretty bad, but does that even matter? Today we take a look at 1989's "The Urge to Kill" (aka "Attack of the Killer Computer").
Thursday, March 23, 2017
Almost "King Kong, which would premier in 1933, but 1932's "The Most Dangerous Game," one might say, birthed the classic gorilla flick. Like "King Kong," this film stars Fay Wray and Robert Armstrong. Both these films had David O. Selznick, Merian Cooper, and Ernest Schoedsack involved in the making and production. Also, like "King Kong," this film has also been re-made, but even more frequently than the gorilla epic. In fact, readers of this blog may find the plot of today's feature a bit familiar. Both Turkey Shoot and Awaken , which have been reviewed on this blog, are terrific rip-offs of "The Most Dangerous Game."
Tuesday, March 21, 2017
One might argue that 1987's "Dark Age" is merely another Australian crocodile film, which offers nothing new. That would be unfair. Yeah, I do admit that much of this film may be interpreted as a cheap rip-off of "Jaws." Entire scenes seem to be lifted out of Spielberg's expensive rip-off of "Moby Dick." However...would you rather see a gratuitous rip-off of "Jaws" or a rip-off of "Silkwood"? For horror fans, "Dark Age" is an interesting film which inspired many plot devices in those made-for-Syfy films.
Sunday, March 19, 2017
All well respected literary journals agree that Mary Shelley's Frankenstein was a near miss on being considered a great classic. the Oxford Review of Literature quotes, "...perhaps a more drastic plot device to anchor this story to the sublime. Bikini clad Amazon women, for example, is just what Shelley's story thirsts for." So in 1981, "Frankenstein's Island" was released in order to fill out Shelley's horror story and perhaps convert it into a timeless classic. After all, is there any film plot in which very alluring bikini clad women, who run and jump a lot, will not enhance?
Friday, March 17, 2017
From Italy, we have a vampire tale which will appeal to fans of romance novels. 1964's "The Slaughter of the Vampires" (aka "Curse of the Blood Ghouls") is equipped with flowery language, a big castle, a waltz in the ballroom, and a hunk prince-type fawning all over the vulnerable, buxom lady dressed in white gowns. Don't fret guys, this film has a really attractive leading woman, lots of vulnerable cleavage action, and some vampires. Directed by Roberto Mauri, probably for the benefit of his wife or GF, let us take a look a neat Gothic horror tale.
Wednesday, March 15, 2017
Teachers aren't paid enough. We trust them with our most precious asset, and still ridiculous athletes make hundreds of times more money than them. How can we blame these heroic educators if they go a little crazy sometimes? In 1989's "Hell High," we meet a biology teacher who goes a little crazy. Warning, this is a weird and awkward film, but the last 30 minutes are worth waiting for.
Monday, March 13, 2017
Icky, slimy, hissing parasites are our villains today. In 1958's "The Brain Eaters," we have a mix of "Night of the Creeps" and "Invasion of the Body Snatchers." Though a B movie from the 1950s, many might choose to read lots of social commentary into this film. Let them, but I suggest you just have fun and enjoy the little creatures, arrogant hunk heroes, a couple of damsels in distress, and...here's the surprise...Leonard Nimoy! Yes, Mr. Spock himself is a major part of this exciting science fiction/horror offering.
Saturday, March 11, 2017
Former Miss France and Bond Girl, Claudine Auger, absolutely owns the camera in any film she is in. In 1971's "A Bay of Blood" (directed by Mario Bava), she will also attempt to own everything else by way of murder. To be fair, everyone in this film is a homicidal maniac, so what is a little murder among murderers? Unfortunately, this is an Italian horror film, hence Ms. Auger isn't too beautiful to die horribly. Will she survive a plethora of seedy characters? Should she?
Thursday, March 9, 2017
Oh to be a botanist trapped in the body of a rocket scientist. Many of us have suffered with this injustice of human existence. This form of identity disorder can drive an intelligent man mad...or insane. It happened to Victor Frankenstein (believing he was also God), and it will happen to our scientist in 1970's "Venus Flytrap" (aka "The Revenge of Doctor X"). Oh yes, this masterpiece was written by Ed Wood ("Plan 9 from Outer Space").
Tuesday, March 7, 2017
Incest is a very uncomfortable subject...even in this blog. Throw in murder and insanity and now we have something we can be more at ease with. In 1977's drive-in classic, "Keep My Grave Open," we meet one very sick and demented insaniac...or is it two sick and demented insaniacs? Be careful of the plot twists that play out, they are a bit more complicated that you would originally figure.
Sunday, March 5, 2017
Not much is known about the lovely Dori Courtney. She made several films from 1989 to 1991 including 1990's "Sorority Girls and the Creature from Hell." In that classic, Ms. Courtney plays a blonde bimbo sorority girl. We first cast eyes on her as she steps out of the shower, naked and wet, and for several minutes stands there nude goo-goo eyeing another blonde beauty. Next, she arrives at a mountain cabin and immediately strips and has pre-marital sex with some frat boy. Next, she is nude in the hot tub, with some frat boy. Finally, she is skinny dipping in a stream when a creature carries her off, naked, wet, and screaming to be sacrificed to an evil deity. Sadly, Ms. Courtney's film career ended shortly after those scenes.
So here goes, frat boy hunks and sorority babes head to a mountain cabin for partying and pre-marital sex. The owner of the cabin, Ray (Doug Koth) has just been possessed by an ancient Indian deity, and now he is a monster hunting for fresh blood for his master. Lots of pre-marital sex, and nude hot tub action ensues, and the creature stalks the college kids. Belinda (Courtney) is first, as her skinny dipping will be interrupted by the fiend. The evil deity will be much pleased with this full figured sacrifice. Sarah (Lynette McBrearty), the only semi-clean-cut gal, will be next.
Most of the hunks and babes will get carried off by the monster and presented for sacrifice. Writer/ Director John McBrearty seems to pay special attention to Belinda, probably because of her proclivity to be nude and wet a lot. Oh yes, to complicate this plot, an escapee from a chain gang has wondered into these woods and he wants to strangle a sorority girl. As the handsome and beautiful fall, a gun nut, and a heavily armed frat (Shawn Player) kid attempt to take the fight to the evil god.
|Both will die horribly|
Friday, March 3, 2017
Oh those Etruscans! They came...they stayed for awhile...they disappeared. Damn those lousy Etruscans! Who are the Etruscans? Glad you asked. According to 1972's "The Dead Are Alive" (L' Etrusco Uceide Ancora), they are a fashion conscious race of ancient Italians who are very prudish when it comes to fashion. This Italian horror film, directed by Armando Crispino, has dozens of twists, many over the top, and more suspects than the Corleone family.
Wednesday, March 1, 2017
The Burning is one of my favorite slasher films, and if someone wants to rip it off....great! This is preferable than ripping off "Ordinary People" or "Silkwood." In 1989 the Aussies produced a straight to VHS effort called "Houseboat Horror" with plot elements straight out of The Burning and kills straight out of the "Friday the 13th" films. Not entirely original, but still satisfying. Death by spear-gun, a horribly burned maniac, and lots of great looking victims grace our feature today.